I'm having sleepless night everyday, entering my dreams at 2-3am sometimes 4am even though I have turned in at 12am.
Something is really wrong.
A lots of things are running in my mind even now.
Many a times, I just want to scream out loud but I couldn't.
I would very much want to fly away and get a new life in other lands, but I'm being tied down with....school. If only I'm graduating today, I would just fly next month with any offers I could get. Like seriously!
I just need a bit more to reach my ultimate breakdown point, and it is really very sick to pretend to be strong everytime, everyday! The fake smile, the fake mask, even the fake me!
It's even more sick to hide in 178 and breakdown!
I want a new life! Literally a new life. Hit me hard and erase all my memories for my new life please. However, I would want my precious memories from the TANs to be archive in my brainy.
Life is unfair and we choose our life paths, if, if only I could hit the reset button, everything would be back to normal and I won't be feeling like shit.
Seriously, everything is wrong! All wrong and just WRONG!
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Monday, September 12, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Not a stupid but a fool..
It has been a long long time since I've last logged in.
Well, indeed, there's many things running around me, so much so that I'm trying to keep it up. I've found myself flaring up easily recently and I get pissed over what he does. I seriously don't know what's went wrong, but I know I'm just freaking pissed! I'm trying to control myself, but the monster within myself refused to be ledge!
Things have changed. Literally changed. We are not the same anymore and whatever I've faced previously is being face by him currently. Its a way torturing!! I'm no longer that stupid; keeping quiet at one side waiting for things to happen. In fact, I go way out to look for my happiness! I might be evil but I have gone through what he has been going through now.
Getting no where, getting clueless and getting no answers!
Alright.
Anyway, I have been a fool waiting till 1:30am for nothing.
Seriously a fool!
Why on earth all these are happening?
WHY!!!!!
Cheers
Shuang
Well, indeed, there's many things running around me, so much so that I'm trying to keep it up. I've found myself flaring up easily recently and I get pissed over what he does. I seriously don't know what's went wrong, but I know I'm just freaking pissed! I'm trying to control myself, but the monster within myself refused to be ledge!
Things have changed. Literally changed. We are not the same anymore and whatever I've faced previously is being face by him currently. Its a way torturing!! I'm no longer that stupid; keeping quiet at one side waiting for things to happen. In fact, I go way out to look for my happiness! I might be evil but I have gone through what he has been going through now.
Getting no where, getting clueless and getting no answers!
Alright.
Anyway, I have been a fool waiting till 1:30am for nothing.
Seriously a fool!
Why on earth all these are happening?
WHY!!!!!
Cheers
Shuang
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Hello!
I had a wonderful weekends and I'm looking for more!
18 March marked both hui and my ORD.
And 18 March marked our calender titled: The fun has begin...
I'll blog regularly if I could. Otherwise FB can tell many things.
Got our passport stamped on the 18 of March and we had our first meal at the very nice mee rebus eatery. Checked into the hotel and I glad that we had the room with SG reception again. Bathed and slack before meeting Bean at our regular "Lok Lok". I'm in love with the "Lok Lok" because of the very spicy chili as well as the cheese hotdog.
By the way, I've bought my DVD player along for some DVD session during the stay. Hence, we had bought a few pieces of DVD and if I'm not wrong, it totalled up to about 10 pieces! Because 10 pieces free one piece! :)
Done with our "Lok Lok" and headed back to hotel for our lovely night.
Woke up on a fine Saturday morning and patronized the nice Mee Rebus again.
It was a happening Saturday because we had slept till 11am plus and shouted:
"他妈的爽啊！"
It's really good.
Went back to SG to run some errand and had our Koi before we will back there again for our Mani at 4:30pm!
I had my manicure
I had my auntie annie
I had my kim gary
and I had my DVD sessions in the room as well.
Last but not least?
We had "Lok Lok" at 1am going 2am, and take away some, together with 20$ of tidbits and carbonated drinks!
Sunday was great either..
Went out again for leisure and had a nice lunch before heading back to hotel for DVDs again.
Oh ya!
This time round, we had spent 70$ on tidbits and 55$ on chocolates..
-________________________-"
And we DVDs and ate all the way from 5pm to midnight!
AND AGAIN?
We had take away supper again!
Damn!
This is shiokness can?
"Lok Lok" + Mee Goreng + Bee Hoon Goreng!
The combo was wonderful!
Came Monday and we had set off early for training leaving them sleeping away in their hotel rooms. It was a nice one especially with the kitchen showroom, and I'm indeed very in love with the design as well as the concept! :)
Done with the training and we had loitered in their Giant before we left with a creeps each on our hands..
Back to hotel, and we had slacked all the way till the night again.
And guess what?
ITS TAKE AWAY AGAIN!
Now, we have the ultimate combo of
Mee Goreng + Bee Hong Goreng + Fried Rice + Kai Lan + 5 coconuts + 干香CRABS!!!
The crabs were so nice that its finger licking good!
We were practically enjoying the crabs in bed together with TV and coconuts and SG Reception!
他妈的！
there goes the 170$ but we are loving it!
Came Tuesday and we finally checked out with Heslyn delivered KOI to me and had our dinner at the Thai Restaurant again.
I'm really love myself and what I'm doing currently.
Sometimes, we need to scarify somethings in order to achieve the sense of happiness as well as freedom.
I've let go of my able-to-sign-up-for-CC salary for something we will be embarking on.
I've ignored all the persuasion to stay including the biggest.
You know.
I'm really that happy on the 18th after more than 4 to 5 months!
'The feeling is no one can understand and no one can ever express out in words.
I'll definitely miss whomever deserve and I meant what I said excluding the snake.
No matter what, I will not return even if I'm given an attractive package.
You know what?
Because
My Surname Tan
And I'm SHUANG SHUANG!
:)
three cheers to TAN!
Cheers
Shuang
I had a wonderful weekends and I'm looking for more!
18 March marked both hui and my ORD.
And 18 March marked our calender titled: The fun has begin...
I'll blog regularly if I could. Otherwise FB can tell many things.
Got our passport stamped on the 18 of March and we had our first meal at the very nice mee rebus eatery. Checked into the hotel and I glad that we had the room with SG reception again. Bathed and slack before meeting Bean at our regular "Lok Lok". I'm in love with the "Lok Lok" because of the very spicy chili as well as the cheese hotdog.
By the way, I've bought my DVD player along for some DVD session during the stay. Hence, we had bought a few pieces of DVD and if I'm not wrong, it totalled up to about 10 pieces! Because 10 pieces free one piece! :)
Done with our "Lok Lok" and headed back to hotel for our lovely night.
Woke up on a fine Saturday morning and patronized the nice Mee Rebus again.
It was a happening Saturday because we had slept till 11am plus and shouted:
"他妈的爽啊！"
It's really good.
Went back to SG to run some errand and had our Koi before we will back there again for our Mani at 4:30pm!
I had my manicure
I had my auntie annie
I had my kim gary
and I had my DVD sessions in the room as well.
Last but not least?
We had "Lok Lok" at 1am going 2am, and take away some, together with 20$ of tidbits and carbonated drinks!
Sunday was great either..
Went out again for leisure and had a nice lunch before heading back to hotel for DVDs again.
Oh ya!
This time round, we had spent 70$ on tidbits and 55$ on chocolates..
-________________________-"
And we DVDs and ate all the way from 5pm to midnight!
AND AGAIN?
We had take away supper again!
Damn!
This is shiokness can?
"Lok Lok" + Mee Goreng + Bee Hoon Goreng!
The combo was wonderful!
Came Monday and we had set off early for training leaving them sleeping away in their hotel rooms. It was a nice one especially with the kitchen showroom, and I'm indeed very in love with the design as well as the concept! :)
Done with the training and we had loitered in their Giant before we left with a creeps each on our hands..
Back to hotel, and we had slacked all the way till the night again.
And guess what?
ITS TAKE AWAY AGAIN!
Now, we have the ultimate combo of
Mee Goreng + Bee Hong Goreng + Fried Rice + Kai Lan + 5 coconuts + 干香CRABS!!!
The crabs were so nice that its finger licking good!
We were practically enjoying the crabs in bed together with TV and coconuts and SG Reception!
他妈的！
there goes the 170$ but we are loving it!
Came Tuesday and we finally checked out with Heslyn delivered KOI to me and had our dinner at the Thai Restaurant again.
I'm really love myself and what I'm doing currently.
Sometimes, we need to scarify somethings in order to achieve the sense of happiness as well as freedom.
I've let go of my able-to-sign-up-for-CC salary for something we will be embarking on.
I've ignored all the persuasion to stay including the biggest.
You know.
I'm really that happy on the 18th after more than 4 to 5 months!
'The feeling is no one can understand and no one can ever express out in words.
I'll definitely miss whomever deserve and I meant what I said excluding the snake.
No matter what, I will not return even if I'm given an attractive package.
You know what?
Because
My Surname Tan
And I'm SHUANG SHUANG!
:)
three cheers to TAN!
Cheers
Shuang
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Encouragement
When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but do not quit.
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit.
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but do not quit.
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentines your head!
Fcuk Valentines!
Fcuk Valentines!
Fcuk Valentines!
I hate promises that are meant to be broken and I fcuking hated those who made those empty promises!
One is enough but there are two, three, four and five!
Fcuk you and get lost!
Damn it!
And I hate flowers!
Who wants it?
Waste of money and not practical at all.
Idiot!
Fcuk Valentines!
Fcuk Valentines!
I hate promises that are meant to be broken and I fcuking hated those who made those empty promises!
One is enough but there are two, three, four and five!
Fcuk you and get lost!
Damn it!
And I hate flowers!
Who wants it?
Waste of money and not practical at all.
Idiot!
Of independence
I’m experiencing one of the worst situations I ever had currently. The frustration I received every morning is torturing, and the feeling of being stuck at a place (which I want to leave ASAP) is killing me! Hence, at times, I really which that I could escape to some place or rather hide myself away to prevent myself from all this frustration and torturing (which I termed them as). It is really that bad to force yourself to do something which you don’t freaking like it at all! Just like a bird being trapped in the cage with all her freedom lost…
Hes is right! Once you have lost the interest or self motivation, nothing aids in keeping you. We have lost the fighting spirits we once had. For this fighting spirits which we once had for you, we know that it does not worth a single penny at all. Which is why, I wanted to leave. It is pointless to stay you see, really pointless. I have made the wrong choice in staying a month back, and I wouldn’t want to make the wrong choice again.
Being a Taurus, I am stubborn at times or rather at all times. Granny has laid out all the pros in staying but I simply ignore it. Pardon me because she does not know what’s going on exactly. I just want to leave ASAP, better still with immediate effect!
They have been telling me to leave! Why not leave ASAP? However, I wouldn’t blame them because they do not know the story behind. Yes! Much as I would like to heed your advice and rather take up your advice, I know I couldn’t. There are many things to consider about.
Anyway, my damn exam is coming up in 9 (5) days time. This is like so freaking fast for my last exam was just over on the 12 Dec! Sigh! I need a better time management when I finally leave. I would want my first exam’s grade rather than my second’s.
Whatever shit it is, I want to leave by the end of Feb, no more march!
Thereafter, let me rest for a couple of weeks before I start slogging my life away again.
I do miss the carefree days that we once had. Though there’s no memories captured, but the real life images will be stored in my hard disk forever. All the last minutes bring us joy, which made us paid the irresponsible price. Thanks you peeps for all the fun we had. I really enjoy it and I’m looking forward to one soon! Perhaps next Chinese New Year? HAHA!
Hes is right! Once you have lost the interest or self motivation, nothing aids in keeping you. We have lost the fighting spirits we once had. For this fighting spirits which we once had for you, we know that it does not worth a single penny at all. Which is why, I wanted to leave. It is pointless to stay you see, really pointless. I have made the wrong choice in staying a month back, and I wouldn’t want to make the wrong choice again.
Being a Taurus, I am stubborn at times or rather at all times. Granny has laid out all the pros in staying but I simply ignore it. Pardon me because she does not know what’s going on exactly. I just want to leave ASAP, better still with immediate effect!
They have been telling me to leave! Why not leave ASAP? However, I wouldn’t blame them because they do not know the story behind. Yes! Much as I would like to heed your advice and rather take up your advice, I know I couldn’t. There are many things to consider about.
Anyway, my damn exam is coming up in 9 (5) days time. This is like so freaking fast for my last exam was just over on the 12 Dec! Sigh! I need a better time management when I finally leave. I would want my first exam’s grade rather than my second’s.
Whatever shit it is, I want to leave by the end of Feb, no more march!
Thereafter, let me rest for a couple of weeks before I start slogging my life away again.
I do miss the carefree days that we once had. Though there’s no memories captured, but the real life images will be stored in my hard disk forever. All the last minutes bring us joy, which made us paid the irresponsible price. Thanks you peeps for all the fun we had. I really enjoy it and I’m looking forward to one soon! Perhaps next Chinese New Year? HAHA!
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