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Friday, August 08, 2014

Lost track

A present for myself in April to ensure that I'm on the right track.

But...

Friday, August 01, 2014

Quarter

Life is short and we should live our everyday to the fullest.

At the age of 23, I had bought my first vehicle. At the age of 24, I had bought my second vehicle.
At the age of 25, I have been travelling almost once every month, sometimes even twice or thrice.
At the age of 26, I'm actually thinking of getting my first property...

Honestly, do you guys think that all these are happiness?! Personally, I feel otherwise.

I've been slogging everyday, accompanied with stresses and pressures, in exchange for all these. Even if I had my first property, I guess I'm still lack with lots of happiness.

Sometimes, life is cruel and isn't as friendly as u think it is. I wish I could just pack up and leave everything behind so that I have nothing to worry about, yet being able to lead a comfortable life somewhere else.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Fairy Tale

It has been a dream for me, or rather a fairy tale in this quarter of my life. Like someone had said, I'm reading a fairy tale which ends as fast as I've finished reading the book, and I will wake up from my dream when it ends.

I've almost given up all my aims and goals I had for the past few years for something I've held so dearly for. And I've almost headed on a new path which dictates whatever I've worked for, for the past few years, to be fruitless. In the end, I didn't. If I did, it will change my life totally and might caused agony to people who will be walking on my new path with me. This is not what I've wanted in the first place, and definitely not something which I'm aiming for.

Sometimes, I wish that my fairy tale will never end because I've never been so happy before, at least for the past half decade of my life. I wish I could continue living in my dream. However, the reality is harsh.

I've been eating non stop that they are complaining on my already-weak health. Honestly, I don't really care even if I die tomorrow or maybe an hour later, but I guess they are worried and angry when I've said that.

I thought I could hold firm to my decision, but I'm feeling terrible now. Really terrible that I've regretted on my decision. At times, I wish I could literally let go everything here and head on to my new path. At least I know I'll take up whatever challenge I'll have if I ever did. After all, I'm prepared to, and I've already kind of plan for my new path. However, it's all different story now.

Honestly, I really miss my happy days. Though it's really short, but I've enjoyed myself. The only regret was, I didn't get to spend much time in many places. And I really regretted it.

I really hated myself so much so that I have lost all motivation in myself.
I need to wake up soon though I ain't know how long it will take.
And I'm not gonna take up something like this anymore. After all, I've been doing fine for the past half a decade and I hope I could continue doing fine in the future.

PS: I wish it will never change at all and I could live my life with no regrets.

Shuang
178

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Disappointment

I'm really disappointed, utterly disappointed with what he had did.

It feels like whatever I've did, my sacrifices, my efforts, my hard works, my worries, and my stresses were all in vain. I really feel like giving up and start afresh with what I have.

Things between us aren't going smoothly.
Barriers started piling up between us.
The mutual trust no longer exist.
And I question why.

Why do I still hold on to it?
Why am I allowing myself to feel so sucky!

Sometimes we just get disappointed in our loved ones because we expect so much from them. Not because we're demanding, but because we know we would do those EXACT SAME THINGS FOR THEM!

The amount of stresses I'm facing currently, I doubt anyone would ever understand it, nor feel me.

Where were you when I needed you the most?
Where were you when I needed to be showered with all the care and concern that I yearn for?
Where were you when I'm in pain and needed someone to pamper with loves?
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I'M AIN'T FEELING WELL AT ALL?

Seriously, just where are you?
How many years do I still have to wait in order to find you?

Can I just get myself married off and be a rich tai tai, so that I could throw all these nonsense away?

CAN I?


Friday, March 21, 2014

No strings attached

Just when I've the courage to face you, you've decided to shut it down.

Oh well. It will be the first and the last that I will actually click on that lovely icon.

I've decided that you should be out of my life, like totally.

You had missed out a lot for the past 6/7 years and you'll gonna miss out a lot more.

Assume makes an ASS out of U and ME!

And then, I've treated myself to a lovely lunch on 18th March for a job well done in 2011.

No one can understand how happy I was on 18 March 2011, with the abundance of freedom and opportunities waiting for me. I guess only my twin would understand it because she had did the exact same thing as me on 18th March 2011.

Without 18th March 2011, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Goodnight!
Shuang
Chen